Whittier resident Ulyses Guzman holds a sign outside the home of the
Suleman family in Whittier, Calif. on Friday, Feb. 6, 2009
Against
the backdrop of a cold, impersonal and lonely world, these well-feathered and
overly populated nests look villagey and warm. It's an undeniably seductive
vision, even if other options like adoption and fostering are almost never
mentioned. Also less discussed are the side effects of this mad race for
biological generation at all costs: the likelihood of multiple births, low
birth weight and birth defects; the ethics of using poorer women as fetal
hatcheries; the health risks to young women who have their "Ivy
League" eggs extracted for handsome sums of cash.
There
are loads of good reasons to think about regulating these medical procedures;
we should have come up with something other than a "free market" for
them years ago. But now, with the birth of Nadya Suleman's octuplets in
Bellflower, California, we are confronting a perfect storm of eugenic outcry.
With a plunging economy, all the well-rehearsed elements of the
"undeserving" welfare queen are lined up: Suleman is single,
disabled, unemployed, on food stamps and has six other children under the age
of 8, one of whom is reportedly autistic. She lives in a matchbox-size house
with her resentful parents, who think she's insane. Toss in that funny,
foreign-sounding name--which turns out to be, gasp, Iraqi!--and the backlash is
in full swing.
No
doubt Suleman has emotional problems. But rather than caring about her mental
health, much of the media are content to pillory her as a drain on the public
dole--selfish, frivolous, calculating and cruel. No Brangelina-style accolades
of "God Bless 'Em" in People magazine. Just
impassioned calls to cut off her remaining sources of income and to criminally
prosecute the doctor who fertilized her. The Atlanta
Journal-Constitution even ran an op-ed calling for the government to
appoint a legal advocate for every child born to an unmarried woman, since the
"lack of a father's guidance" must be "a major cause of
[children's] suffering." Furthermore, in the case of Suleman's children,
"the legal advocate would file suit against the fertility clinic or a physician
who knowingly contributed to their abuse--life in a multiple-child household
headed by a single woman."
Nadya
Suleman's saga, in other words, has highlighted a deep cognitive dissonance
about whether children are "assets" or eternal expenditure, divine
joy or devilish curse in a time of dwindling planetary resources. When I first
heard of Suleman, my immediate thought was of Andrea and Rusty Yates--married,
fundamentalist Christian believers in that ubiquitous story line about going
forth and multiplying no matter what. After caring for and home-schooling five
very young children with no assistance but prayer, and with accumulating signs
of postpartum psychosis, Andrea Yates woke up one morning and drowned all her
children with quiet efficiency.
And
so the specter of psychotic breakdown haunts me when I think of the Suleman
abode: one autistic child, plus 2-year-old twins, plus four other kids ages 3
to 7, plus eight newborns ranging from one to three pounds, plus a grandfather
who has gone back to Iraq to earn more money for the family, plus a grandmother
furious at the medical professionals who "assisted" her daughter,
plus a surreally chipper Nadya, who despite the miserable odds remains enrolled
as a graduate student in, of all things, pediatric counseling. This situation
is undeniably sheer madness, but the public discussion seems fixated on the
question of whether she can "afford" so many kids, as though if she
was rich, this would be sane.
This
past fall The New York Times Magazine ran a cover
story by Alex Kuczynski, fashion writer and self-confessed "cosmetic
surgery addict." Her wish to have a child was framed by fierce
determinism, the "natural outgrowth" of marriage to her
husband--without whom she "would skip the child." Kuczynski is married
to a man whose "sperm had a track record"--six other children by two
prior wives. She, the third bride and twenty years her husband's junior,
described herself as engaged in nothing less than a "battle for my
fertility"; having a biological child was "necessary," a
"mad desire," a "compulsion" and "proof" of the
marital bond, without which she faced "wrecked hopes" and an
"abyss of grief." Indeed, to die "without having created a life
is to die two deaths: the death of yourself and the death of the immense
opportunity that is a child." When she thinks she's pregnant, she feels a
"shiver of victorious accomplishment.... my own fecundity
triumphant." When she tells people she's not, she feels "barren,
decrepit, desexualized," "branded with a scarlet 'I' for
'Infertile,'" "the dried-up crone with a uterus full of twigs."
Just because Kuczynski is married and wealthy does not make her less
obsessive or more profound than Suleman. Kuczynski sounds like a sad, silly
child mooning over "fertile but fit" stars like Halle Berry, Nicole
Kidman, Salma Hayek and "John Edwards's sometime mistress," who all
had babies in their 40s. Likewise, Suleman takes heart looking at Angelina
Jolie. Suleman and Kuczynski represent disturbing emotional extremes. But that
should not excuse the rest of us from examining the oppressive competitive
natality that seems to have gripped us--the fantasies of "baby bumps"
and breeding, always breeding, yet more of "our kind." Our culture's
antifeminist backlash and its unrealistic aspirations have bewitched Kuczynski
and Suleman, these two young women who are so addled and so suggestible, so
endowed and yet so impoverished. All these years after the age of "liberation,"
perhaps it is time to revisit the myths we still concoct about childless
women's worth.